Hard TImes.. but you will get through

love you grandpa!! miss you!

grandpa loved shooting guns and on the flowers for the boys and girls we got one of his shot gun shells and i took one off and it dropped in grandpas resting place and we all teased and said that grandpa wanted one too..

grandpa loved red and we let red balloons go...

So since Nov '09 my grandpa just kept getting sicker and sicker and we found out he had cancer Feb 4th esophageal cancer. Wow.. it was so hard! he just kept getting weaker and sicker and it just hadn't hit me yet. My grandma said that he always said that i was there with him on the end of the bed but then he would fall asleep and when he woke up i wouldn't be there and he would be kinda upset with my grandma that she let him fall asleep. Than I went and hung out down at his house with him. He had lost so much weight it and was getting weaker. He would change everyday and i didn't want to miss anything! I spent my 21 birthday (Feb 27) with him and my family that was there. It was the best birthday ever! I just sat on the bed holding his hand.. rubbing it as he fell asleep.. and he would wake up looking at me and saying.. oh my special girl your so beautiful.. it took everything for me not to cry in front of him! He woke up from one of his short naps and me and any aunt Teena were in is room and Teena reminded him that it was my "drinking birthday" and my grandpa said oh shit.. you can only drink if i am with you to have one too, ( my grandpa didn't drink he is just so cute and always looking out for me!! ) by this time he couldn't eat and could drink very little water! March 2ND was his birthday! he was not able to celebrate with us but we had a fire for him cuz that was all that he wanted he told us a couple days before! the grand kids went into his room to sing him happy birthday, he was not coherent but i was holding his and after we sang that i squoze it 3 times while i told him i loved him and he just squoze it back! March 3RD we were now giving him pain medicine every 15-20 minutes and he just was there sleeping. I was got there around 5 when i got off work and was there taking my turn giving the medicine till about 11 or so and than my grandpa passed away March 4th at like 3 in the morning!

I cant believe he is gone! but i am so grateful to have the gospel in my life that i know i will see him again soon! Even though i miss him so much right now!! I am so grateful and proud of the example my brother set to go serve a mission. He is able to bless families in mexico that they can have an eternal family and have the blessing that he and I have.

Grandpa i love you so much and miss ya tonz!